Letting Go
by freakycalzona
Summary: AU Sometimes it doesn't matter whether or not it's a dream
1. Chapter 1

**Letting Go**  
>By RedEmerald (Edited by freakycalzona)<p>

**Disclaimer:** We own nothing and borrow lots. No, really... lots. Like every other character past or present on _Grey's Anatomy_ which are the sole intellectual property of Shonda Rhimes, Shondaland and ABC.

**Ratings:** Overall R.

**Story Information:** This is Alternative Universe fanfiction. None of the characters have the occupations that Shonda Rhimes intended. We simply asked ourselves how career choices can change the directions of the characters lives, but not who they are as a person.

**Summary:** AU Sometimes it doesn't matter whether or not it's a dream

**Editor's Note 1: **All the credit to this fic goes to RedEmerald of LE . com I just asked her permission to edit this one for our otp

**Editor's Note 2:** so guys this will be the last fic of RedEmerald that I'll be editing. Should I continue editing other stories for our otp? Suggestions and comments are much appreciated...

Chapter 1:

Arizona's POV

So...relationships suck, right?

Okay, I'll admit, I was a hopeless romantic. Still am. Back then, though, I was in one of those phases where I wasn't. You know where those phases happen - right after a relationship rears up and bites you on the ass, right? Pretty much.

I had just broken up with my girlfriend, Joanne. Nice girl, sweet as hell, but with this pesky habit of hooking up with her ex-boyfriend whenever she got drunk. Really annoying. The first time, I got past it - I figured, you know, that she was freaking out about getting serious, and so on. The second time, I thought it was really uncalled for, but what can I say, I loved her. The third time, she got pregnant. That pretty much killed the romance for me.

As chance had it, my best friend Callie had just broken up with her boyfriend too - which really surprised me. She and I had been sharing an apartment since graduating together - we had shared a dorm in college, and it had worked out pretty well. The apartment was definitely an upgrade from the dorm room - separate bedrooms were a luxury - but it was still a pretty cheap place, since neither of us was making much money yet. Cheap, as in thin walls. Very thin. Tissue paper. If I'd rubbed something greasy on the walls, they would have turned transparent.

For night after night, I'd have to listen to her and her boyfriends. Don't get me wrong - I can totally understand why men were always around - Callie's a knockout. She was Latina and gorgeous. Tall, leggy, dark hair, medium-dark skin, big grin - she was the star of the college swim team. To her credit, she wasn't easy - she put those boys through hell before she let them in her bed - but once they were there, they certainly weren't in hell anymore. Callie, as far as I could tell without ever having watched, was loud, responsive, and creative. When you hear shock in a former college quarterback's voice at what a girl's doing in bed - well, I can't even guess.

My romantic life, on the other hand, involved far less fireworks. I've been told I'm pretty, which is good enough for me. I'm short with very blonde hair but big light blue eyes, a startling combination I've always liked. I'm slim, but with enough curves that, in T-shirt and jeans, I look like a girl. Again, good enough for me. I've refused to wear a skirt or a dress since I was ten. I played tennis and field hockey, and wore my hair boy-short until I graduated college. I've always been relatively feminine, but needless to say, I was never really "in the closet".

Anyway, after my latest breakup, I decided I wanted to get away for a while. Since Callie had just broken up too...hold on, that reminds me. I hadn't figured out yet why Callie had broken up with her boyfriend. They'd been going out for more than six months, and rather than just a lot of "oh, baby" and "don't stop" from her bedroom at night, I'd been hearing a lot of "oh god, I love you" and "yes, darling, more, more". Then it was over. I figured the usual would happen: she'd pretend it was mutual, then have a drink or two and sob to me about how he dumped her - or how she found him chained to the wall being whipped by his sixty-year-old gay lover. Not kidding.

So I wanted to get away for a while - at least long enough so that my ex-girlfriend could figure out I didn't want to see ultrasound pictures - and Callie was in the same place, so we found a trip we could take together where we would be totally isolated from the world for a while. We flew out to the Caribbean, and found Hunt Tours.

Hunt Tours was really just a couple with a boat who wanted to make money cruising around the islands they loved anyway, so they would take on a half-dozen passengers or so and float around the Caribbean for a few weeks. They gave us a great deal - apparently, they saw a lot of recently broken-up passengers on their boat.

Oh, by the way, if you want to know more about their boat, don't ask me. I don't know much about boats. It was big. It seemed to be made largely of wood, and it had some number of sails. We didn't actually "sail" very often - apparently, it moved slower when using its engine, and a slow cruise was the whole point, so Cristina and Owen didn't use the actual sails much. A boat with a motor and a steering wheel doesn't take that much of a crew, either, so we weren't expected to contribute much other than untying the occasional rope or turning a crank or whatever. I didn't pay much attention. I wouldn't have picked a boat, myself - they're obviously not really my thing - but Callie had always wanted to take a cruise, so there we were.

Cristina and Owen Hunt owned the boat - she was Korean and gorgeous. Owen was white under his tan, and built like a linebacker. Tall, huge shoulders, powerful build. Surprisingly for a man that size, he was actually pretty sweet - quiet, calm, and upbeat, as though he were the biggest, strongest high school guidance counselor that ever lived. They were a great couple - very much in love, constantly touching and kissing.

Our fellow passengers were a pretty mixed little group. Derek was just a middle-aged man on vacation - he seemed like a lawyer, or a stock broker, or something. Mark was a college student working on some kind of research project - at least, that's what he claimed. I think he was just one of those enterprising types who found a way to get college credit for going on vacation. Teddy was a tall girl with a big soft pretty eyes and a shy smile. I admit that she caught my eye right away - but I wasn't here to rebound.  
>Oh, and there was Addison, too - Addison was a skinny redheaded girl with a thick Irish brogue and a great laugh, but she had a fiancé back home. Apparently, there was also a friend who was supposed to come with her, but didn't show. Addison decided to go anyway, since her tickets were non-refundable. I applauded the instinct - even if unavailable, she was pretty, and I've always had a thing for an Irish accent. Then again, who doesn't?<p>

We all got on the boat, with the usual round of introductions and small talk, and found cabins. Aside from the master suite where Owen and Cristina slept, there were two double cabins and two smaller cabins - closets, really, with bunks in them. No one much cared - we'd only be sleeping there, after all. Derek and Mark, as the only other men on board, took one of the doubles, while Callie and Addison shared the other - Teddy was shy about sharing a room, and Callie and I hadn't flown several thousand miles just to share a tiny room again, so she was happy to stay with Addison. The two of them hit it off right away. Teddy and I had the single cabins to ourselves.

As the boat left the little port - a lovely little seaside town with a great many smiling people, which is a very nice way to start a voyage - we all changed. The men just wore their swim trunks all the time, of course, while Callie and Addison wore bikinis with tank tops or light t-shirts over them. Teddy and I wore thin shirts and shorts, what I called our "boat clothes", as opposed to what we wore to go swimming. I'd brought a swimsuit, as had Teddy, but didn't want to lie around in it for days on end.

So the eight of us sailed - or cruised, or whatever - out onto the big bright blue ocean, with a lovely sunny day beaming down on us. Within minutes of lying on the deck chatting with everyone, I felt months of tension draining away. There is no feeling quite like being in the middle of nowhere with interesting people and absolutely nothing else to do.

After several hours, Addison and Callie had settled in for some serious sunbathing, while Teddy was playing cards with Derek and Mark and Owen, and I found myself sitting with Cristina near the little room where all the boat's controls are. Again, don't ask - there were levers and wheels and buttons, and some lights. That's about all I know. If we'd hit a storm or something and I'd had to steer the boat for more than three seconds, we wouldn't have survived.

"...and things just obviously weren't going to work out," I finished the long, depressing story of my breakup - believe me, the abbreviated version you've heard is quite enough.

Cristina shook her head. "Some people never learn," she sighed. "We had a nice couple out here last time who were trying to patch things up after one of those. I don't think either of them spent a night in their own cabin - or with each other - the whole trip."

I laughed. "How efficient - they got their rebounds out of the way while they were still in the middle of the relationship."

She laughed as well - I liked her laugh. Very soft but very open and friendly, and her black eyes sparkled when she laughed. "Tell me this, though - why did a smart girl like you give her three chances?"

I winced. "I'm probably too romantic for my own good."

"Ah, don't ever say that," she nudged me playfully with her elbow. "Can never be too romantic." She grinned. "Owen's never given up being romantic."

"It's easier when you're as happy as you two are, I think."

"Well, yes," she admitted. "The trick is to find things you both enjoy, and enjoy them as much as you possibly can."

"Like cruising around the ocean?"

"Exactly." She nodded, reaching past me to do something with the controls. As she leaned past me, she glanced at my eyes, which surprised me. The last time anyone had looked at my eyes that way I'd...well, ended up looking at ultrasound pictures. I resolved to assume it was just a curious look.

"Could you find Owen for me?" She asked then.

"Oh, sure," I got up, still a little confused, but I had shaken it off by the time I got back up on deck and made my way forward to where Owen was sitting with the other two guys and Teddy. "Hey, Owen?" They'd insisted that they'd throw anybody who used "sir", "ma'am", or their last names off the boat.

He looked up at me, smiling that big toothy grin of his. "Hey there, lovely." He called all us girls by some complimentary term. I suspected at the time that it had more to do with a bad memory than any real desire to compliment us. I know now I was wrong - he just honestly loved women of all types - but that's what I thought at the time. I still liked it, though. What girl doesn't like being called lovely?

"Cristina needs you," I reported.

"Oh, sure." He glanced down at his cards and slapped them down on the deck. "I had crap anyway." He got up, and stepped past me on his way to join his wife at the controls.

"Hey, Arizona," Mark greeted me. "Want to join us? We could use a real fourth - Owen's a terrible poker player." Derek nodded enthusiastically.

Teddy just smiled shyly up at me. I shrugged. "No, thanks." I stretched, looking up at the sunny sky. "I think I'll find a quiet spot for a nap."

Derek smiled. "Good idea." I half-expected him to ask if I needed company, but he had some class.

I wandered away, but halfway up the ship toward the back - or stern, whatever, leave me alone about the boat - I heard footsteps behind me.


	2. Chapter 2

**Letting Go**  
>By RedEmerald (Edited by freakycalzona)<p>

**Disclaimer:** We own nothing and borrow lots. No, really... lots. Like every other character past or present on _Grey's Anatomy_ which are the sole intellectual property of Shonda Rhimes, Shondaland and ABC.

**Ratings:** Overall R.

**Story Information:** This is Alternative Universe fanfiction. None of the characters have the occupations that Shonda Rhimes intended. We simply asked ourselves how career choices can change the directions of the characters lives, but not who they are as a person.

**Summary:** AU Sometimes it doesn't matter whether or not it's a dream

**Editor's Note 1: **All the credit to this fic goes to RedEmerald of LE . com I just asked her permission to edit this one for our otp

**Editor's Note 2:** so guys this will be the last fic of RedEmerald that I'll be editing. Should I continue editing other stories for our otp? Suggestions and comments are much appreciated...

Chapter 2:

"Hey, Ari."

I turned, smiling. "Oh, hey, Cal. Got enough sun?"

Callie smiled. "Of course not. I have three weeks of sun to soak up before we go back to dear old dreary home."

I shook my head. "You're going to look like leather when you're forty - you know that, right?"

"The pool boy under me won't mind," she smirked.

"You'll look terrible in leopard print, though," I told her.

She laughed. It was something of a running joke between us that she looked forward to being a cougar more than she looked forward to any current relationship. It was a good humorous way for her to look past whatever moron had broken her heart this time.

She stepped up to me, squinting. "What's that in your hair?"

"What?" I reached up, frowning - and discovered a little pale pink rose blossom stuck behind my right ear. I stared at it. When the hell had that happened?

"I didn't think you were a flowers-in-the-hair kind of girl."

I snorted and shook my head. "I'm not...I didn't put it there."

"Oh, really now?" Callie raised an eyebrow. "You matched up with someone already? That's quick for you."

"I did not!" I said indignantly.

Callie laughed. "Sure...oh, I believe you." She stepped past me, rolling her eyes, and I stared after her indignantly. "It looks good, though," she shot teasingly over her shoulder as she left.

"I didn't put it there!" I called after her, and looked at the flower for a long moment before tucking it back behind my ear, desperately trying to remember if I'd put it there. It didn't really seem like something I would do.

I wasn't paying much attention when I made my way to the back of the deck where there were a couple of lounge chairs set up in partial shade from the tallest part of the ship. I tugged one of the lounge chairs over into the shade - I don't tan, I burn - and sprawled out comfortably on my stomach, in a position where I could stare out at the ocean behind the ship as we cruised along, enjoying the sea breeze and the sound of the waves. There was a faint rumbling from the ship's motor, but I didn't mind it - I like a little cover noise when I sleep.

There's something about sleeping on a boat when you're not used to it - your dreams get really bizarre. I remember only pieces of my dreams, but they all had a common theme - at some point in all of them, someone was stroking my hair. That didn't seem normal.

When I woke, the sun was a bit lower in the sky, but there were two other lounge chairs pulled up around me. Teddy was asleep on one, with Cristina on the other. I remembered the dreams, and the sensation of having my hair stroked, along with the flower in my hair, and I wondered.

***

That night, I discovered something else about sleeping on boats - they usually don't have air-conditioning. It gets hot in the Caribbean - which is fine during the day - but you'd think that once the sun went down, it would get cooler. Maybe it does in the resort spots - probably why they put the resorts there, I suppose - but where we were, it didn't get cool. It stayed hot. If I didn't know better, I would have said it got hotter. There was some kind of fan system that circulated air through the boat so it wasn't too stuffy, but it was still very warm inside. I began the night climbing onto the bed in my t-shirt and shorts - but it didn't take long for me to realize that I was going to broil that way. So I stripped off the t-shirt and the shorts.

Now, understand me, I'm not much a girl for nudity - I'm actually pretty shy about it - and I don't usually sleep in so little even when I'm sleeping with someone, but I just couldn't stand the suffocating clothes. In just my panties and a thin sheet over me, I tossed and turned in the heat, trying to fall asleep.

This time...my dreams were not cooling me off. Not so much weird as...unrelenting. I writhed through dream after dream of bare skin, hot slick flesh, warm lips. I heard moans in my ear...soft, slow moans, gasping, quick moans, and those deep moans of satisfaction that follow a really incredible orgasm. My dream lovers were the faceless type - I wasn't dreaming about anyone in particular - but I couldn't shake them. I woke up once, and probably would have done something about my arousal, but I felt unaccountably shy about doing that in a strange place. You know that feeling, right?

I fell back asleep, and the dreams continued, one after another. Hot, bare bodies pushed against mine, warm lips covered me, and hands explored my body in ways I could never remember feeling in real life. Somewhere in the middle, though, the dreams stopped being tortured. More of the moans in the dream became mine. I arched against caressing fingers, met soft, eager lips with my own, and ran my fingers through soft hair. I felt strong hands on my back, lifting me, and soft hands on my legs, opening me. I felt that delicious, spasmodic thrusting of a truly eager lover, and the warm, wondering feeling of a girl's lips during a first night together.

Finally, in my dream, I did something I don't think I'd ever done in a dream before. I came. Hard. I arched against those lips, bucked my hips frantically against that wonderful, magical touch, and squealed through an orgasm that left me breathless, trembling - and snapped me awake.

I almost sat up, but my body was too deliciously heavy to move. I felt sated and drowsy the way only truly good sex can make you feel. I didn't have to check to know that my panties were soaked, but I did know that the sheet was almost completely off my body - I'd writhed around so much in my sleep that the sheet was twisted around one leg, leaving the rest of me bare. I managed to move just enough to pull the sheet back over myself, and moaned softly as I lay back. The room was so dark - without the internal lights on, and no external lights to intrude, the cabin was pitch black. The only sound was my lightly panting breath.

I really needed to find someone who could make me feel like that again. If only they really existed.


	3. Chapter 3

**Letting Go**  
>By RedEmerald (Edited by freakycalzona)<p>

**Disclaimer:** We own nothing and borrow lots. No, really... lots. Like every other character past or present on _Grey's Anatomy_ which are the sole intellectual property of Shonda Rhimes, Shondaland and ABC.

**Ratings:** Overall R.

**Story Information:** This is Alternative Universe fanfiction. None of the characters have the occupations that Shonda Rhimes intended. We simply asked ourselves how career choices can change the directions of the characters lives, but not who they are as a person.

**Summary:** AU Sometimes it doesn't matter whether or not it's a dream

**Editor's Note 1: **All the credit to this fic goes to RedEmerald of LE . com I just asked her permission to edit this one for our otp

**Editor's Note 2:** so guys this will be the last fic of RedEmerald that I'll be editing. Should I continue editing other stories for our otp? Suggestions and comments are much appreciated...

Chapter 3:

The next morning, the boat was still a boat, and the ocean was still out there doing its ocean thing - you know, waves, a few birds, that kind of thing. Callie and I were lounging on the chairs at the stern. Teddy was asleep not far away.

"Wow." Callie ran a hand through her hair. "That's some kind of dream."

"No kidding." I sighed, stretching my legs out. I still couldn't make myself move too fast.

"Lucky girl."

I snorted. "Yeah, right - I came here to get away from those kinds of complications."

"What complications? Sounds like somebody - in your dream, anyway - made you come really, really hard. What's complicated about that?"

I snorted again. "You know I'm not really about that, right? I mean, a little rebound here and there is a healthy thing - but I'm not looking for that."

Callie looked over at me, confused. "Looking for what?"

I flushed slightly. "It felt...real. Like there was something real there." Callie looked blank. "I mean," I went on lamely, "it's not like it was just sex, there was...something. I don't know how else to say it."

"Hmm." Callie shrugged. "It was just a dream. Probably that romantic part of you attaching something else to it to make it hotter for you."

"Good point." I grinned. "It certainly added something to it."

She laughed. "Sounds like it. I wish I could have a dream like that."

"If we stew in our little saunas every night for three weeks, you probably will."

Teddy snorted in her sleep, rolling onto her side facing us. Her face looked very cute and peaceful in her sleep.

Callie looked at the girl, then at me, and jerked her head in Teddy's direction.

I frowned. "What?" I mouthed. I'm not sure why we weren't talking aloud, given that I had just described an erotic dream in detail right in front of the sleeping girl, but...

She just jerked her head at the girl again, arching an eyebrow. That look I recognized. I scoffed, waving a hand.

"Why not?" Callie asked bluntly.

I shook my head. "That's...it's just crazy, in like twelve different ways."

Callie rolled her eyes upward. "Dear...Ari, you have got to learn to let go every so often."

"We've had this discussion before," I shrugged.

"Yes, we have." Callie looked at me directly. "I'm not talking about your general life - I know it's tricky in real life. Here you are on vacation, though. Middle of nowhere, lots of romantic views, stifling heat that seeps into you...what more invitation did you need to live a little?"

I thought about that. It was hard to deny the logic. "Well, sure, but...I mean, I can't just go about..." I looked at Teddy and made some sort of incomprehensible gesture.

"Why not?" Callie demanded again.

"Just drop it, Cal," I sighed, leaning my head back and closing my eyes again.

Callie just shrugged and leaned back as well, and we settled back into the peaceful quiet we'd been enjoying all morning.

At midday, we all gathered for lunch. Everybody was definitely more relaxed now - Addison was laughing with Callie and Cristina about something, and Teddy was giggling with Mark and Derek. Owen was off taking care of the boat.

After a while, I got up and wandered away from the others, standing along the side of the ship, looking out at the sea.

"Hey there, lovely," a voice said from behind me.

I half-turned. "Oh, hi Owen."

He stepped up beside me. "Are you enjoying yourself?"

I shrugged, attempting a polite smile. "It's been great, so far."

He nodded, smiling. "Good. I know it's tough to loosen up at first. You'll get there, though," he said confidently. "They all do."

I couldn't help but smile for real this time. "You really enjoy making people happy, don't you?"

"We both do," Owen said, smiling. "Have you ever tried it?"

"With mixed success," I said wryly.

He laughed. "No - not for romance, or for love, or for a friend. Just to be happy - for a time."

"Why is everybody being my therapist today?" I complained.

He laughed again, reached out, and brushed my hair back over my ear, and I was surprised all over again, wondering if I had forgotten everything I thought I had learned about flirting. Then he wandered away, whistling, and I stared after him, horribly confused.

I headed back to the others eventually, and we enjoyed another quiet afternoon of contemplation, sunbathing, and sleep. This time, when I woke up from my afternoon nap, there was only one person nearby - Cristina. She sat propped up nearby, reading from a thick novel.

She glanced over at me, smiling when she saw I was awake. "Nice nap?"

I smiled sleepily. "I'll say. The boat really does rock you to sleep, doesn't it?"

"Only if you want to sleep," she said, winking, "otherwise...well it helps other things, too."

I chuckled a bit nervously. "I wouldn't know."

"No? You should try it." She grinned again, going back to her book.

"I don't get on boats very often," I sighed, leaning back with my arms crossed behind my head.

"You're on one now," she pointed out.

I looked over at her. "Well, yeah, but alone."

"You're not alone," she said musingly. "There's Derek, or Mark, your friend Callie is nice...Addison is taken, but Teddy's not."

I grinned. "Right...so all I have to risk is total embarrassment and being stuck on a boat for three weeks with a bunch of people who rejected me."

She just laughed, but I laughed with her.

After an otherwise quiet afternoon, we gathered again for a very pleasant dinner, and then lounged about the deck socializing. The cards came out again, and Derek and Mark got Cristina and Teddy and Addison playing. Callie went back to her sunbathing for what was left of the day's light, leaving me relatively alone again. I didn't feel like playing, but I sat nearby, watching the game, enjoying the general company without really joining in.

I sighed deeply, stretching and running my fingers through my hair, leaning my head back against the railing with my eyes closed, enjoying the swaying of the ship and the lively conversation nearby.

"Now, see, lovely, you don't look like you're having fun, now," a voice said very close in my ear, and I jumped, looking at Owen, who had somehow snuck up and sat next to me without my noticing, his big frame seeming even more giant so close to mine.

I smiled. "No, I am, really - I just feel like being quiet."

"Ah, well...there's a time for quiet." Owen looked around, then back at me, lowering his voice. "No one's bothering you, are they?"

I laughed, shaking my head and touching his arm, trying to reassure him. He was such a conscientious host. "No, not at all. I'm just confused."

"Ah - that's not all bad, you know." He grinned reminiscently. "Some of life's best discoveries are made when you're really confused." He winked. "Trust me on that."


	4. Chapter 4

**Letting Go**  
>By RedEmerald (Edited by freakycalzona)<p>

**Disclaimer:** We own nothing and borrow lots. No, really... lots. Like every other character past or present on _Grey's Anatomy_ which are the sole intellectual property of Shonda Rhimes, Shondaland and ABC.

**Ratings:** Overall R.

**Story Information:** This is Alternative Universe fanfiction. None of the characters have the occupations that Shonda Rhimes intended. We simply asked ourselves how career choices can change the directions of the characters lives, but not who they are as a person.

**Summary:** AU Sometimes it doesn't matter whether or not it's a dream

**Editor's Note 1: **All the credit to this fic goes to RedEmerald of LE . com I just asked her permission to edit this one for our otp

**Editor's Note 2:** so guys this will be the last fic of RedEmerald that I'll be editing. Should I continue editing other stories for our otp? Suggestions and comments are much appreciated...

Chapter 4:

That night, I lay again in my bed, confused and hot, waiting for sleep to claim me.

As I lay there, attempting to count sheep to see if that really worked; I realized one major drawback to the location of my cabin. It was next to the master suite. I couldn't hear much - just a faint rhythmic thumping, and very faint voices.

I rolled over, pulling my pillow over my head, recalling my dreams from the night before. I remembered the wet heat of that night, the sensations of imaginary lips.

I heard a cry from the next room - but the thumping didn't stop. I sighed in exasperation. They weren't helping.

I pulled the pillow down tighter, shuddering. My dream had been so realistic...that tongue on me, the hands on my thighs, holding me open. The warm, quick, excited breathing on my pussy.

"Ah...Owen!" I heard.

I whimpered, rolling back onto my back - the pillow wasn't muffling anything. Then, to my surprise, I fell asleep. At least, I think I did, because the dreams started again.

Once again, I writhed under lips that explored my legs, nibbling my thighs, and I eagerly arched my hips toward them. I felt hands holding my wrists, gently restraining me, so that those lips could tantalize me, sliding over my overheated skin. Not that I needed to be restrained to submit. Between Cristina and Owen's lovemaking in the next room - in my dream, I could still hear Cristina calling out in pleasure - and Callie's outrageous suggestion that I jump Teddy; I was in no mood to resist.

My pussy ached. I felt so warm, bathed in heat, bathed in sweat - and soaked in need. I opened my legs wider, and that soft, supple mouth began searching my pussy, lips opening mine and a warm, wet tongue gently darting in, exploring. I moaned out, shuddering, my hips pulling away a tiny bit as if shocked at the power of that sensation, but the tongue just slid deeper, tracing my slit, and then plunged inside me.

I choked on a gasp, arching up. The sensation was so real - was I awake? No, couldn't be. Who would be licking me in the middle of the night? My eyes widened - it really did feel like real hands were holding mine down, though. I thought I could feel real shoulders - smooth, silky female shoulders - pressed against the inside of my knees. A real mouth tasting me, lips as soft as any I had ever felt, and a wonderfully wet, slippery tongue delving and diving into me. My thoughts fluttered quickly through shock, fear - this couldn't be happening, or maybe it could, and if so who was it, and if so why were they doing this, and if it was real had it been real before and...and...and then that tongue traced a lazy circle over my clit, and need blanked everything else from my mind.

"Oh...oh god," I arched up with a gasping moan, my legs trembling as I spread them wider - for now, I couldn't stop. There was time to figure this out later...right now, I was so close, well past the point of no return, when your body tells your brain to go shut up so it can explode.

That mouth sealed on me firmly, tongue lapping and swirling, and I lasted only seconds more, my legs tensing and my head thrown back as I cried out into the darkness, going into spasms and convulsing against that wonderful mouth, which devoured me with slurping, sucking licks as though I were the finest thing it had ever sampled.

I jerked, thrashing as my orgasm washed over me in huge, bone-jerking waves, and then went limp when it subsided, gasping and shaking, eyes wide but blind in the pitch blackness. I barely felt the weight lift off my bed, and I only dimly heard the click of my cabin door opening and closing. The last thing I remember thinking before I drifted off to an exhausted, sated sleep was wondering whether those noises were real, or if my dream were just making it up to drive me crazy.

There were no sounds coming from the next cabin anymore, for which I was grateful, but I couldn't really sleep. Instead, I lay there listening to the boat rocking in the water, wondering if I'd really been asleep.


	5. Chapter 5

**Letting Go**  
>By RedEmerald (Edited by freakycalzona)<p>

**Disclaimer:** We own nothing and borrow lots. No, really... lots. Like every other character past or present on _Grey's Anatomy_ which are the sole intellectual property of Shonda Rhimes, Shondaland and ABC.

**Ratings:** Overall R.

**Story Information:** This is Alternative Universe fanfiction. None of the characters have the occupations that Shonda Rhimes intended. We simply asked ourselves how career choices can change the directions of the characters lives, but not who they are as a person.

**Summary:** AU Sometimes it doesn't matter whether or not it's a dream

**Editor's Note 1: **All the credit to this fic goes to RedEmerald of LE . com I just asked her permission to edit this one for our otp

**Editor's Note 2:** so guys this will be the last fic of RedEmerald that I'll be editing. Should I continue editing other stories for our otp? Suggestions and comments are much appreciated...

Chapter 5:

The next morning at breakfast, I found myself searching every face for any sign of who might have visited me the night before. Those lips had been too silky, and the shoulders too soft, to have been male - if they were real at all. I shook my head over my cereal - leave it to my subconscious to confuse me even worse than I already was.

I knew it hadn't been Cristina - she and Owen were as affectionate as newlyweds are after their wedding night. I looked at Teddy, but she seemed to be paying no attention to me whatsoever, talking to Owen and Cristina. I looked at Addison, but she was telling Callie about her wedding plans - hardly the conversation one would expect her to be having the next morning. Callie herself looked bored, as if she couldn't wait for breakfast to be over so she could go sunbathe some more. Besides, I knew Callie was straight, as was Addison. Logically, then, it had to have been Teddy - or just a dream.

The only problem was how to figure it out - what was I supposed to do, ask her?

"Hey, Teddy, you didn't happen to sneak into my room last night and lap my brains out, did you?"

Yeah, right. Except...I needed to feel that again.

Fortunately, I was soon distracted before I could horribly embarrass myself. Not long after breakfast, we reached the first of the islands on this lazy tour - a tiny little islet that was obviously the top of some undersea mountain - a spike of rock sticking straight out of some trees in the middle of nowhere.

We dropped anchor and went ashore, splashing up onto a beautiful white sand beach. The place looked like something out of a movie - a few palm trees, a nice picturesque little mountain, a beach, and absolutely nothing else.

Callie waded ashore and flopped onto her back, sighing as if she had found her permanent home. Teddy and Mark were still splashing water on each other offshore, while Derek wandered up toward the trees to explore. Cristina and Owen were still on the boat, doing whatever it is you do to make sure your boat doesn't float away on its own.

I stretched widely, with that lovely salt breeze caressing my face and whipping my hair around, felt the sand under my toes. I plodded up the beach to see what was around the corner of the island - as it turned out, more beach. Go figure.

It was probably a measure of how relaxed I was feeling now that when Derek stumbled with a crash out of the trees to my left as I wandered up the beach, intending seriously to circumnavigate this island in the name of mankind, I didn't even jump.

"Graceful," I remarked, wincing as my natural sarcasm burst out of me at someone who might not find it funny.

Fortunately, Derek just laughed. "I know, I know, the Canadian judge would have really docked my score for that." He sighed, shaking his head. "I'd stay out of the brush, if I were you - lots of prickly things." He balanced on one leg, pulling up one of his bare feet and looking mournfully at his now scraped-up sole.

"Thanks for the warning."

Derek glanced at me, and then up the beach, and I almost tensed up - I didn't, I was still pretty relaxed, but I felt that twitch inside me like I wanted to tense up. I really didn't need to be hit on just then.

"Hey, Arizona, can I ask you something?"

I looked at him warily. "What?"

Derek grimaced slightly. "Listen, I was divorced a few years ago, so I'm kind of new at this."

I almost slumped. He was a divorcee - emotionally fragile, especially for rejection. I wasn't constitutionally prepared for this.

He glanced up the beach back toward where the boat was. It wasn't that far away - you could see a mast or something sticking up between the trees. "I can't tell as well as some guys can, but...do you think Mark might be gay?"

"Listen, I..." I broke off my improvised let-down speech and blinked. "What?" I looked at Derek more clearly - he was flushed bright red. "Oh," I said lamely, sounding like a genius. How had I missed that? I can usually spot gay men a mile away.

He shrugged. "It's really no big deal," he said.

I grinned at him - unlike him, I was now much more comfortable. "Yes, it is - he is cute, isn't he? Wouldn't have pegged you for one to like the younger men."

He flushed deeper, and I almost hugged him. A handsome, sweet, probably rich, middle-aged gay man in good shape? How was he still single? "It's not like that," he murmured. "I just, you know..."

"You like him," I said teasingly, still grinning.

"Hey," he said in an injured tone.

I just laughed at him, punching him lightly in the arm. "I'm teasing. Honestly, I'm not sure if Mark's gay. I always thought I had a pretty good gaydar, but I didn't ping you at all, so I might just be generally on the fritz at the moment."

It was his turn to grin at me. "You do seem a bit scattered, if you don't mind my saying."

"Hey, I have a good reason," I said defensively.

"Do tell."

We wandered together back toward the beach - both of us now feeling much more relaxed around each other, though for totally different reasons - and I told him the whole sordid story. He made the appropriate sad, commiserating noises throughout.

"Well," he said brightly when I was done, "maybe they'll name the baby after you."

"Are you trying to make me sick up right here on the beach?"

We laughed together, and I felt much better. I realized that I had been seeing the whole group from behind a very weird lens - a mix of emotional damage, need, desire, and general confusion. No wonder I'd figured they were bunch of whack jobs - I was the whack job, and as an eloquent writer once put it: sometimes, when all you've got is a stick, everything looks like a kneecap.

By the time we got back to the part of the beach nearest the boat, people were just generally lazing around. Owen and Mark were discussing marine wildlife of some sort. At my prompting, Derek went to join them. Teddy and Cristina were busily hunting for seashells - using Teddy's t-shirt as a bag. The sight of her in a bikini top and shorts served very nicely to wrench my mind back exactly to where I didn't need it to be.

Then Callie appeared beside me, her eyebrows raised curiously. "So...you two were..."

I gave her a long steady look. "Well, we were having this really hot sex, when suddenly he realized I wasn't Mark and I realized he wasn't female."

Callie blinked, and she gave Derek a surreptitious glance over her shoulder. "Wow, really? Never would have guessed that."

"Me neither," I said in annoyance, "and I can almost always spot it."

"Well, that makes things simpler." Callie frowned, folding her arms across her chest. I found myself wishing for at least the thousandth time in my life that I could wear a bikini as casually - and well - as Callie could.

"How does it make things simpler?" I asked, my thoughts catching up to her question.

"Well, it narrows your choices down to just one."

"My choices for what?" I asked pointedly, intentionally not understanding her.

Callie looked at me flatly. "For getting you off until you can't walk normally, girl."

I blushed. "That's not what I'm here for."

"Well, then be here for that," Callie said impatiently. "I don't want you moping around for the whole three weeks we're down here. You're a wreck."

I pouted slightly, folding my arms, and then looked sharply at her. "Hey, that reminds me - why aren't you moping around? Your breakup was just as hard as mine."

"Nah, not really," she shrugged. "Things had run their course."

"That's not what I was hearing," I disagreed, "through those thin walls you mentioned."

Callie lifted her chin. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"How many of your guys have you called 'darling', anyway?"

I had finally gotten her to blush. "None of your business." Callie jerked her chin over at the others. "So, what are you going to do?"

"Nothing," I said firmly. "I'm here to relax - that's it."

She rolled her eyes at me. "Suit yourself." She wandered away, and I glared after her. What made her so sure I wanted anybody on the boat?

Heading in the opposite direction, I found myself rather desultorily following Teddy and Cristina up the beach, where their seashell collection had been steadily growing. Looking around, I spotted a pretty one they had missed and hurried to catch up with them.

"Here," I called, "don't forget this one."

They turned toward me, and Teddy smiled brightly as Cristina grinned at me. "Nothing else to do, Arizona?" Cristina asked with a grin.

I shrugged, smiling a little. "I can't seem to find the theme park, so..."

Teddy giggled - not the brainless, whiny sort of giggle that annoys me, but an airy, breathy little hint of laughter that seemed to just bubble up inside her. I rather liked it.

"Well, join us," Cristina said, gesturing for me to add the shell to the makeshift bag Teddy was carrying. "You have a good eye."

I slipped the shell carefully into the bag, glancing at Teddy's eyes as I did. Blue, melting soft...okay, I told myself, stop that!

I noticed Cristina giving me a look, and gave her a rather exasperated one in return - she just winked.

We wandered completely around the little island, collecting a respectable bag of seashells - which I had no doubt we would leave behind anyway, since Cristina and Owen hardly needed fifty pounds of shells for anything. I caught Teddy looking at me a few times as we went, but my internal sense of those things was so badly screwed up at that point that I had no idea if she liked me or hated my guts.

Eventually, I noticed Cristina more and more dropping out of the idle conversation - and when she was talking, it was mostly to ask Teddy or me questions about ourselves. I figured out what she was doing, of course, but even though I gave her several warning looks, she ignored me and just kept doing it.

In a surprisingly short time, we reached the area of the beach where the others were lounging around, and Cristina ran to join her husband, who was splashing around in the surf with Derek and Mark, doing I have no idea what. Teddy and I sat together in the sand, sorting through the seashells. What we were sorting them for, I can't even vaguely imagine, but we both seemed to feel that the bag needed order of some kind imposed on it.

"So, Arizona," Teddy said quietly - she had a very soft voice, "do you have someone special back home?"

I shrugged. Neither of us was looking at the other. "No, not really. I broke up with my girlfriend recently."

"Oh, I'm sorry," she said, looking distressed at having asked.

I smiled reassuringly. "Don't be." I reached out automatically to touch her knee to let her know I hadn't been bothered. Mistake. Her skin was really smooth. I could have sworn I felt a twitch of reaction in her knee, too, when I touched it, but I squashed that whole line of thinking ruthlessly. I did not want to get involved. It would be just my luck to fall hard for some strange girl from who knows where, just to lose her after three weeks. No thanks.

"It's fine," I went on, returning my attention to the shells. "I just needed a change of scenery."

"This is definitely one of those," she smiled. "I love it down here - I came with some friends last time. Cristina and Owen are really nice." Her eyes turned slightly distant. "Really nice."

I gave her a curious sort of look, but she just shrugged with a hint of a grin.

"They are," I agreed. "They've got a nice life carved out for themselves here."

"It's perfect," she nodded. "They just sail around, enjoying themselves."

I smiled at her, and she returned the smile - that same shy smile, which tried to fight its way past my now rigid self-control but failed.

We kept sorting, talking about nothing much, until the sun was nearly ready to set.


	6. Chapter 6

**Letting Go**  
>By RedEmerald (Edited by freakycalzona)<p>

**Disclaimer:** We own nothing and borrow lots. No, really... lots. Like every other character past or present on _Grey's Anatomy_ which are the sole intellectual property of Shonda Rhimes, Shondaland and ABC.

**Ratings:** Overall R.

**Story Information:** This is Alternative Universe fanfiction. None of the characters have the occupations that Shonda Rhimes intended. We simply asked ourselves how career choices can change the directions of the characters lives, but not who they are as a person.

**Summary:** AU Sometimes it doesn't matter whether or not it's a dream

**Editor's Note 1: **All the credit to this fic goes to RedEmerald of LE . com I just asked her permission to edit this one for our otp

**Editor's Note 2:** so guys this will be the last fic of RedEmerald that I'll be editing. Should I continue editing other stories for our otp? Suggestions and comments are much appreciated...

Chapter 6:

"Teddy?" The call came from Owen, somewhere up the beach.

"Oh, I should go see what he wants," Teddy said, rising to her feet. She looked down at me for a minute, then bent over and kissed my cheek, and hurried away before I could say anything. I just sat there numbly, watching her go, mentally cursing myself for not wanting anything on this trip, but knowing it just wasn't a good idea.

I sat there, rifling through the rest of the shells in the bag, while the sun went down and painted the ocean all sorts of amazing colors, many of whom for which I didn't even have names. Our little beach was on the southern side of the island, apparently, as the sun was setting off to our right, visible but not blazing in our eyes.

Owen called for me a few minutes later, and I went to help set up for dinner. Owen had a special grill thing that he built a fire for, and he started to cook a huge meal for us, kind of a beach banquet, with skewers of all sorts of meat and vegetables and things. I was starving - my stomach kept rumbling. Mark, Callie, and I circled the fire like vultures while Derek helped Owen with the meal. I'm not sure where Teddy or Cristina was. I didn't see them much for a while, but by this point, I was practically drooling all over myself with hunger. Teddy could have walked by naked, and I'm not sure I would have noticed.

We finally ate - some of us attacking the food like wild animals - and then lay about contentedly on the beach while the fire burned down. Owen told us that the boat would stay anchored in the little cove all night, and that we could sleep either on the beach or on the boat, whichever suited us better. While I liked a mattress as much as the next city girl, I much preferred a beach to a sauna, so I decided to stay on the beach - a nearly unanimous decision. We all took turns swimming out to the boat to shower and use the bathroom on board, but only Addison stayed on board to sleep.

The rest of us found comfortable spots in blankets on the sand and laid around as the stars came out and the world got very, very dark, with only the flickering fire and a couple of lights on the boat illuminating anything, along with that soft starlight.

Callie was out like a light right away - she had always been a sound sleeper. Derek and Mark stayed up late near the fire playing cards with Owen. Cristina and Teddy were off wandering, getting in a walk to burn off some energy before sleeping.

That left me by myself to sleep - or rather, to not sleep. I was actually a little frightened of my dreams at this point. It wasn't that they were sexual - I liked that part just fine. It was the depth of the emotions behind them. The girl in my dreams wasn't just licking me - she'd been savoring me. I wasn't just dreaming about some girl having sex with me - I was dreaming about some girl making love to me. I already knew my sarcastic armor wasn't proof against that sort of thing. I could remember plenty of times, when I'd been in bed with a girl I wasn't sure of, I'd hear that breathing - that quick, hitched breathing of excitement - in my ear, and I'd fall head over heels.

Eventually, I gave up on sleep and wandered down the beach, finally finding a nice flat rock by myself to stare out at the ocean at night and think. It was a pretty incredible view - dark, since I couldn't see the moon, but there was plenty of starlight to see by.

I watched the waves going in and out and whatnot, and thought about those dreams - carefully separating the sex part. It wasn't just that the pleasure had been intense - it was that the feelings had been equally intense. I had never felt like that before - never, and I'd been in some pretty intense relationships.

Then I snorted to myself, shaking my head in disgust. Why was I even bothering? They were just dreams, for crying out loud.

"Arizona?"

I looked up in surprise - Teddy was standing there, looking worried.

"Where's Cristina?" I asked her. "I thought she was with you."

She shrugged. "Oh, she went to find Owen."

I nodded, watching her. Her skin looked lovely in the starlight.

"Couldn't sleep?" She asked me, coming closer and sitting on the rock beside me.

"I haven't been able to sleep much since I got down here," I admitted.

She giggled a little bit. "Well, your cabin is the one next to Owen and Cristina's."

I grinned. "That was a bit of a problem last night."

She laughed. "I had the cabin next to theirs the last time I was down here."

I shook my head ruefully.

"Arizona?"

I looked at her. She leaned in, and brushed her lips against mine. I froze.

She pulled back, giving me that shy smile.

I looked at those soft brown eyes. "Look, Teddy..."

"No, not yet," she said almost clinically. "One thing, first."

"What?" I blurted, confused.

The one thing was a delicate, but very warm girl on my lap, with her arms around my neck, looking down at me seriously.

I realized my hands were on her waist, and didn't remember putting them there, but the warmth in those blue eyes was making it very difficult to think.

"Teddy..." I whispered warningly.

She just smiled, and she kissed me again, that same little brush, like a peck on the lips. This time I didn't freeze. She gave that tiny little breathy giggle, and kissed me again, a tiny kiss. She smiled that shy smile, and this time I returned it in spite of myself - she was just too sweet not to smile at her. She leaned in, another tiny kiss, this time with a soft little whimper - and then another, very quickly, and another. Not one deep or long kiss, but one soft little short kiss after another, interspersed with those little whimpers and smiles, wearing down my resistance until I slid my hands up her back and pulled her to me.

Now, all at once, the kiss was one of the deepest, hardest kisses I've ever experienced, her arms tight around my neck. She kept whimpering as she kissed me, too. Her hands scratched and tugged at my hair, her body pressed close against mine, rocking and thrusting on my lap, and her mouth kept moving each time she whimpered. I was taken off guard by just how excited she really was, but her sheer excitement started to unwind my self-control. Her lips were very soft, her tongue was very timid and gentle, drawing me to search for it, and her skin was like warm butter under my hands.

I started to really kiss her back, my lips parting hers and my tongue delving deeply, and she kept up those little whimpers until I started responding to them with little purring moans. Quite suddenly - so abruptly that it took me by surprise - all my confusion dropped away. I knew there was no love here - just desire - but my control trickled away, drowned in the simplicity of a warm, sweet, willing girl.

I don't remember undoing her bikini top, but I remember very well the hitches in her breathing as I nuzzled between soft breasts, tasting that warm chocolate skin and massaging her lower back to keep her loose and soft on my lap. I remember the feeling of her hair on my knees as she arched, her hands tangled in the hair at the back of my neck. I remember her trying to babble my name as I caught one taut little nipple between my lips and grazed it with my teeth.

Then I pulled back again, shuddering and rubbing my cheek on her flat stomach, almost in tears.

"Arizona?" Teddy whispered, sitting up, holding my head against her.

I looked up at her. "Teddy, I can't..." Then I blurted in surprise as I toppled backward onto the soft sand with a thump, Teddy on top of me.

"You can't, but I can..." Teddy breathed in my ear as she tugged my shirt up, and then slid her warm moist lips all over my neck. This was my undoing - my neck has always been like a hair trigger for me. I bit my lip to hold in a moan, trying desperately to regain my self-control.

"Don't bother, Arizona," she whispered in my ear before sliding her tongue around it, which made me arch into her hands. "At least for tonight, you're all mine." Then her lips found my neck again, sliding down onto my collarbone as her hands traced little circles over my breasts, and I was lost.

I barely remember her undressing me, or taking off what was left of her clothes, but I remember vividly the feel of the warm sand under my shoulders, my butt, and the soles of my feet, and the delicious silky feeling of her smooth body on top of me. I remember the slick warmth of her pussy against mine, rubbing and grinding, and those tiny whimpers in my ear mixed with her gasping breaths. I remember holding her hips, tensing to grind her frantically into me as we gasped each other's names into each other's mouths, and the way she screamed into my mouth when she came, jerking and twitching, atop me. I don't remember my own orgasm - I only remember her grabbing my wrists, pinning my arms down, and her hips beginning this maddening circular swirling motion that sent me into orbit.

We rested briefly, with Teddy still laying on top of me, breathing into each other's necks, my hands on her back and hers in my hair, our skin plastered together.

I was feeling emotions that were fairly new to me - not love, not even deep friendship, but a wonderful, relaxed sort of intimacy, and a deep, rueful fondness for this girl that had, I now realized, expertly seduced me. I had no regrets, either. My ex had never made me come that hard - never.

Teddy giggled softly in my ear, raising her head to look into my eyes, not moving her body.

"So, you were saying?" She murmured.

I couldn't help but laugh. "All right, I'll give you that one," I sighed, unable to help running my hands over the satin of her hips and softness of her buttocks.

She sighed as well, leaning down to kiss me. "Just one?"

I growled softly - some part of me felt a need to assert something. "Wise ass girl...I'll show you." I rolled her on her back, and captured a nipple between my lips again, drawing a surprised squeak from her.

Teddy grabbed my shoulders as I slid further down, nuzzling her stomach, and I paused. She sat up a little, her eyes wide. "Arizona, you don't have to..." She sounded breathless.

I looked up at her sharply, and my lips curled in a smug little grin. I had found this girl's weakness - the one thing she most desperately wanted but couldn't ask for - such a simple thing, too. She must not have been with too many girls - I'd imagined doing it to her the moment I met her.

Sliding a little lower, keeping my eyes on hers, I nuzzled my lips into the downy soft, trimmed hair between her thighs and then fastened my mouth on her.

I felt a spasm run up her back and down her legs, and she gasped, her eyes going distant, and she lolled backward, her head rolling as her back arched. "Oh, god, Arizona..." She moaned.

She was sweet and tart, and very wet - it had been so long since I tasted a girl who got half this excited - and I drank deeply from her, my tongue licking every millimeter of sensitive dark pink flesh and my lips nibbling and sucking on anything I could wrap them around.

She writhed and wriggled under my mouth, one of her hands fastening into a death grip on my hair as her thighs rose to clutch my head, something I've always loved. I closed my eyes and just lost myself in her, in the delicious wet sweetness of pussy, something I'd needed so badly. I rubbed my nose and chin in her juices, swirled my tongue as deeply into her body as I could, and sucked on her labia like candies.

Within a minute, she came again, hard, squealing my name, but I didn't stop or let up - in truth, I barely noticed. A single stray thought crossed my mind - that Joanne had never come that hard for me, either - and delved deeper, washing away all those painful memories in Teddy's sweetness.

She certainly didn't seem to mind - I caught only pieces of whatever it was she was babbling in between her squeals and moans, but a lot of it had to do with begging me not to stop.

Teddy came again, her thighs quivering over my shoulders, and I just moaned and drove my tongue as deep as I could to taste every drop of her. I felt something warm and wet lapping at my feet, and it took me a moment to realize it was the ocean. I almost laughed at the absurdity of that - here I was, laying naked on a beach with the ocean lapping about my toes, with my face buried in the pussy of a girl I barely knew - and yet, I absolutely could not bring myself to pull away.

I squirmed around a little bit, stroking her slit slow and light with my tongue to keep her aroused. Working my arm free from beneath me, I sank a finger into her tight pussy, gently gliding it in on her wetness, loving the sound of her gasped squeal and the way her feet kicked on my back at the sensation.

"Arizona!" She started to say something, but I didn't give her the chance. Sliding my finger deep and then twisting it, my fingertip searching while my lips found her clit. Her breathing stopped as she arched up onto her shoulders, her fingers clawing at the sand beneath us, and I backed off, teasing her, slurping on her moist pussy until her hips started moving with my slowly pumping finger, her body rocking to my rhythm. I slowly accelerated, intent on making her scream again, and got my wish a moment later as I dug my fingertip into the rough spot inside her and firmly sucked her clit.

Her wail went on for a long ten or fifteen seconds as her whole body locked up, her legs tensed and stiff along my back and her hands clenched into fistfuls of sand. Then she went limp, and I finally released her, licking her gently clean and rising onto my hands and knees. I knew enough not to just slide up her body with sand stuck to my chest and stomach, and brushed myself off quickly before settling myself on top of her, stroking her tangled hair back from her eyes.

Her eyes found mine, wide and dazed. "Arizona...wow..."

I couldn't help a smug little chuckle, leaning in to kiss her neck, but she surprised me by stopping me, pulling my mouth to hers.

"I don't mind," she mumbled against my lips, so I kissed her deep, letting her taste her own sweetness on my lips and tongue.

Then I pulled my lips free and rested my face in her shoulder, surprised that I was actually trembling. That kind of emotional catharsis took a lot out of me. I tried to ignore the throbbing in my own body - I badly needed to come again, but I knew Teddy was probably exhausted.

"Thank you," I whispered. "I needed that."

Now it was Teddy's turn to roll me over, smiling down at me. "You have amazing eyes," she murmured. Then she lifted up slightly, her legs squirming with mine, making my breathing hitch. She grinned. "You need something else, too, though."

I blinked up at her, and actually felt myself blush a little. "Hey, that's all right, I..." I gasped as she squirmed so that her pussy brushed mine again.

"Well, not yet," she whispered. "It will be, though." Her hips started that mind-bending swirling motion again, and I moaned loudly.

"That's it, Arizona...let go." She sighed into my lips as she worked on top of me. I buried my face in her neck, wrapped my arms around her back, and just moved with her. I could tell she was just trying to make me come, but as my hands started guiding her and my lips nuzzled at her breasts, she lost control again, and we came spasmodically at almost the same moment, with me panting into her chest and her squeaking those high-pitched whimpers that so turned me on.

Finally, we relaxed, our skins warm and slick, our breathing slow and deep, our bodies sated and relaxed. She laid her head into my shoulder, and I slipped into a deep, real sleep.

**Editor's Note 3: **R&R.. I would love to know what you guys think about Arizona/Teddy..


	7. Chapter 7

**Letting Go**  
>By RedEmerald (Edited by freakycalzona)<p>

**Disclaimer:** We own nothing and borrow lots. No, really... lots. Like every other character past or present on _Grey's Anatomy_ which are the sole intellectual property of Shonda Rhimes, Shondaland and ABC.

**Ratings:** Overall R.

**Story Information:** This is Alternative Universe fanfiction. None of the characters have the occupations that Shonda Rhimes intended. We simply asked ourselves how career choices can change the directions of the characters lives, but not who they are as a person.

**Summary:** AU Sometimes it doesn't matter whether or not it's a dream

**Editor's Note 1: **All the credit to this fic goes to RedEmerald of LE . com I just asked her permission to edit this one for our otp

**Editor's Note 2:** so guys this will be the last fic of RedEmerald that I'll be editing. Should I continue editing other stories for our otp? Suggestions and comments are much appreciated...

Chapter 7:

I woke up, a few hours later, feeling Teddy stirring beside me.

"Ohh...I can't sleep on sand," she muttered into my ear, and I fought back the urge to giggle.

"Why don't you go find your bed on the boat?" I whispered, kissing her ear. "And...thank you."

She smiled a huge, sweet, happy smile at me - I knew she understood, and I think she had gotten just what she wanted as well. One good night. I was incredibly grateful to her.

We kissed one last time after dressing and parted ways, with Teddy wading out toward the ship and me wandering down toward the fire, wondering if there was anything edible left from the earlier feeding frenzy.

As I was picking through a few remnants of food clinging to the skewers - yes, I was really that hungry - a shadowy figure wandered up toward the fire. I looked up in surprise - I'd noticed Derek asleep against a tree not far from the fire, and Mark was snoring right beside the fire.

"Arizona?" The person called out softly, if that makes sense, and I knew who it was. There was no mistaking that accent.

"Yeah, Addison, it's me." I put a few more shreds of meat in my mouth, wincing at how burnt they were, but not caring that much.

The skinny redheaded woman wandered up to the fire, yawning.

"Couldn't sleep?" I asked.

She snorted. "Not likely - not with all the noise from the master suite."

I laughed a little - I could afford to feel a lot more magnanimous about that, now. "Again?"

"It seemed even louder than before," she shook her head. "Those two are insatiable."

They weren't the only ones. A girl hadn't worn me out the way Teddy had since high school.

We chatted quietly as I kept nibbling at the remains of the previous evening's dinner. Not long after, Mark woke up, followed by Derek. We all played cards until the sun came up. I felt enormously more relaxed, unsurprisingly, and Derek seemed to notice the difference in me - when he gave me a questioning look at one point behind Mark and Addison's backs, I winked at him, and he grinned briefly and gave me a little congratulatory toast of a water bottle.

Gradually, over the next couple of hours, everyone else straggled in. Owen and Cristina arrived from the boat, and Callie wandered in shortly after. Teddy joined us as well - we exchanged a smile that we thought was subtle, but that Owen, Cristina, and Derek all noticed, as I figured out from the amused looks they each gave me over the next half hour, each of which I answered with a blush and a faint smug little grin. Teddy, to my amazement for a girl who seemed so shy, showed no particular reaction to the looks she got, other than a happy little grin and nod when Cristina leaned over to whisper something in her ear while looking at me with twinkling eyes.

I was glad at least that Mark and Callie didn't seem to pick up on it. Owen and Derek set up a wonderful breakfast of fruits and fish and nuts, and we ate, talking companionably and discussing the next leg of the trip - from here, evidently, we passengers had a choice. We could either sail past a chain of abandoned islands like this one, where it would be quiet and isolated, or we could sail to a little resort on a bigger island, where we could meet some people and drink and dance and do all the usual resort vacation nonsense.

I certainly had no desire to spend a few days in a giant night club - which was apparently a fairly common opinion. Only Mark seemed to have any interest in the resort, and Owen offered to take a slight detour to what he claimed was a prime fishing spot, which convinced Mark to take the quiet route.

After finishing up breakfast and cleaning up our camp - Owen and Cristina insisted, though we all agreed - so that the place looked like no one had ever been there, exactly as we had found it.

We all clambered back onto the boat - I hadn't really missed the thing, though I was looking forward to sleeping in a real bed again. I'm no more comfortable sleeping on bare sand than Teddy was.

We settled back into our cabins a bit as Owen and Cristina got the ship ready to move, and before I knew it, we were back out on the wide, empty ocean. Teddy and Derek and Mark kept right on playing cards, and Cristina and Owen were doing boat things - which I suspect involved at least one break in their cabin - which left Callie and I lounging on the deck, Callie in the sun and me in the shade.

We sat in silence for a long time, enjoying the peaceful ocean, the breeze and the sunshine, until Callie apparently couldn't hold it in any longer.

"Okay, so what happened?"

I looked at her questioningly.

She just gave me a steady stare.

I raised my eyebrows. Be damned if I was going to admit she'd been totally right.

She rolled her eyes. "Fine. Don't tell me. I know something happened. Either you got some or somebody talked you down."

I just shrugged.

She snorted. "Fine, fine. I'll get it out of you eventually, you know that."

"We'll see." I stretched, relaxing and closing my eyes. Then I opened them again, deciding turnabout was fair play. "What about you?"

Callie looked over again, tilting up her sunglasses to see me. "What about me?"

I just gave her the same eloquently steady stare she'd given me.

She grinned. "Why should I tell you anything when you wouldn't tell me?"

"Oh, so there is something to tell?" I sat up intently.

"I didn't admit to anything," she said primly.

"Uh huh..." I lay on my side facing her. "I'll tell you what. If you tell me - honestly - I'll tell you everything."

She looked over at me sharply, and looked rather tempted - in fact, it might have been a trick of the light, but I'd swear she looked a little bit flushed. Then she turned away, closing her eyes. "No deal - I've nothing to tell anyway."

I sighed in disappointment - I've always been a curious girl, so I probably would have spilled the beans about Teddy to find out what had made her blush like that. I leaned back, feeling drowsy, and drifted off, able for the first time to just totally relax and enjoy the bright sunshine.


	8. Chapter 8

**Letting Go**  
>By RedEmerald (Edited by freakycalzona)<p>

**Disclaimer:** We own nothing and borrow lots. No, really... lots. Like every other character past or present on _Grey's Anatomy_ which are the sole intellectual property of Shonda Rhimes, Shondaland and ABC.

**Ratings:** Overall R.

**Story Information:** This is Alternative Universe fanfiction. None of the characters have the occupations that Shonda Rhimes intended. We simply asked ourselves how career choices can change the directions of the characters lives, but not who they are as a person.

**Summary:** AU Sometimes it doesn't matter whether or not it's a dream

**Editor's Note 1: **All the credit to this fic goes to RedEmerald of LE . com I just asked her permission to edit this one for our otp

**Editor's Note 2:** so guys this will be the last fic of RedEmerald that I'll be editing. Should I continue editing other stories for our otp? Suggestions and comments are much appreciated...

Chapter 8:

That night, back in my dark little sauna of a bedroom, I lay awake after catching a few hours of sleep, feeling that heat seeping into me, driving me as crazy as it had before. I felt warm, relaxed, but sensitized, very aware of my own body. My experience with Teddy had apparently reminded my body just how good it was to be with someone else, and I actually thought for several long minutes about whether or not I could find the guts to sneak down the hall and knock on Teddy's door.

Eventually, I just stripped my clothes off and ran my hands down my warm, slippery skin. My body felt alive, tingling with sensation. I remembered the feeling of Teddy's hands on my body, and remembered the pleasure I had found writhing under her squirming, thrusting body, and I didn't have to spend much time priming myself before sliding my fingers over my slick pussy. Sighing and rocking my hips against my fingers, I relived the two amazing orgasms Teddy had given me, and then relished the memory of eating her out of her mind, the feel of that warm, melted body bucking and twisting and helplessly quivering under me.

Then, as I got nearer to orgasm, and quite to my surprise, those memories slipped away from me, and a different memory took their place as my fantasy. I recalled my dreams of the first two nights on the ocean. My mind filled once again with the sensation of my hands being held down, and my pussy eaten in such a savoring, luscious way. I actually stopped touching myself, lowering my hands to grip the sheets, bucking my hips - I could almost feel that tongue for real, the memory so clear that I thought I might reach orgasm just imagining it.

The heat was so strong, burning inside me, and I gradually sank so deep into the fantasy that I seemed to fall back asleep, drifting off with my hips still moving and my pussy throbbing with need.

Then, of course, in my lust-induced haze of a dream, it all returned to me, only a hundred times more intense. I felt the hands gently restraining my wrists, holding them alongside my hips. I felt the silky smooth shoulders between my straining, sweaty thighs, and felt that wonderfully, deliriously pleasurable mouth exploring, tasting, making love to my pussy.

This time, there were no doubts or fears, no holding back. I was going to enjoy this dream.

"Oh, yes..." I thrust my hips at that mouth, my head arched back. "Yes...love me..."

I felt a deep shudder pass through the mouth on me, and then a hot, naked body was sliding up along mine - only it didn't feel quite like Teddy's body. At this point, though, I didn't care. The hands held mine down, but as the body slid upwards, the hands shifted so that the girl on top of me could change where her weight was resting - and I took advantage.

Wriggling my hands free, I reached down and found a pair of sleek, satiny hips - the skin so warm and firm, as slippery with sweat as my own - and pulled. My lover was unbalanced, and I heard a blurted curse of surprise as I pulled her up my body until she was over my mouth. I burrowed eagerly between creamy smooth thighs, and tasted just the first hint of incredible sweetness, like warm honey. Hands grabbed my hair, trying to pull me away as the body tried to shift, but I didn't allow that - I grabbed a pair of slim wrists, growled in warning that I would not be denied, and feasted.

I heard a quick, startled cry of mingled shock and pleasure, and one of the hands still in my hair, held by the wrist, clenched in surprise.

The pussy against my mouth was perfect - just the way I like it. Very little hair - just a tuft that I could feel against my upper lip. Soft, delicate lips, and a very warm, creamy center - and most importantly, unlike many girls and despite popular belief, it was incredibly sensitive. Every touch made her quiver, every lick made her gasp, and every suck made her shudder.

I was in no mood to be patient, either - I knew dreams like this usually didn't last, and I wasn't going to let it end before I made this girl come, and come hard.

My tongue thrust deep, and she cried out - and then, with a strength that shocked me, pulled away. Our holds were reversed, my hands were pinned down beside my head, and my lover's soft pussy was on my chest as she practically sat on me to keep me still.

I heard the deep breath as she tried to regain control, and I arched under her, moaning. "Let me taste you again," I murmured. "Let me make you come."

I felt the tremor in her, and then a whisper, faint and soft. "Damn you." Then the body slid down mine, the weight shifted, and her knee roughly opened my legs back up. I gasped in surprise and excitement as she pushed between my legs and I felt that perfect pussy against my own. She started thrusting against me, almost harshly, panting with effort.

I knew immediately what she was doing - she was trying to come without allowing me to do anything. She was simply too desperate not to come, but could not abide the more intimate contact of my mouth on her...and didn't know any of the other ways to come with a girl. Right at that moment, I knew - and once I realized the truth, everything clicked together, and I knew what she needed me to do.

My legs curled around hers, moving too quickly for her to stop them, and pulled, pinning her against me with all my strength and pulling her legs a little further apart so that I could mash her pussy into mine. She made a surprised noise, and her grip loosened for just a moment, just enough for me to pull my hands free, grab her back, and pull her down against me. I felt her sweat-slick breasts press into mine, and felt silky hair on my shoulders and neck.

"Go ahead, Callie," I whispered in her ear. "Don't stop...come for me."

She cried out into my ear in shock, desperate desire, and fear, a sound that tore at my heart - but I didn't let her think about it too much. One hand grasped a firm, smooth buttock and my hips thrust up, grinding my own wet pussy into hers, filling her with sensation before her brain could take back over from her body.

She cried out again into my ear, and I pressed into her, rocking my hips. "Do it, don't stop, you'll come so hard," I whispered into her ear, and I actually felt her lose control, a feeling I relished.

She started thrusting into me again, panting in my ear, and through my own rippling pleasure, I decided to play it up for her.

"Oh, god, yes," I moaned into her ear, sucking on her earlobe, "yes, you're so wet, I feel your pussy against mine, baby, do it. Let go and come for me."

She cried out again, shuddering, burying her face in my neck as I felt her spasm and stiffen, squealing into my neck, her body tense and shaking atop me. I kept my hips rolling only very softly, to intensify her orgasm but not over-stimulate her.

She relaxed a moment later - and then ripped away from me, pulling entirely off my body so quickly that I couldn't hold on to her.

I gasped in surprise, but I couldn't see her clearly - she stood at the foot of my bunk for a moment. I heard clothes rustling, and then the click of my door opening and shutting behind her.

I lay there in shock, for two reasons - one, that that had certainly not been a dream. I'd never felt so awake in my life. Two...that really had been my best friend - her mouth eating me so beautifully, her sweet, wet pussy on my lips and throbbing around my tongue, her naked body rocking on top of me, and her crying into my ear in desperate, needy, unbearable orgasm.

I lay there, totally awake, wondering.


	9. Chapter 9

**Letting Go**  
>By RedEmerald (Edited by freakycalzona)<p>

**Disclaimer:** We own nothing and borrow lots. No, really... lots. Like every other character past or present on _Grey's Anatomy_ which are the sole intellectual property of Shonda Rhimes, Shondaland and ABC.

**Ratings:** Overall R.

**Story Information:** This is Alternative Universe fanfiction. None of the characters have the occupations that Shonda Rhimes intended. We simply asked ourselves how career choices can change the directions of the characters lives, but not who they are as a person.

**Summary:** AU Sometimes it doesn't matter whether or not it's a dream

**Editor's Note 1: **All the credit to this fic goes to RedEmerald of LE . com I just asked her permission to edit this one for our otp

**Editor's Note 2:** so guys this will be the last fic of RedEmerald that I'll be editing. Should I continue editing other stories for our otp? Suggestions and comments are much appreciated...

Chapter 9:

The next morning, as the boat sailed on, I came up on deck, looking for Callie. The few hours left of the night had been spent thinking, trying to figure out what to do, wondering if I had just gained a lover or lost a friend. Owen and Cristina were taking care of the boat, while Derek and Mark were going through some of the fishing gear on board, deciding what they wanted to use. Knowing little about fishing and caring even less, I wandered to where Addison and Teddy were lounging and talking - it seemed Teddy was getting the same long explanation of Addison's upcoming wedding that Callie had earlier.

"Hey, Arizona," Teddy greeted me with a smile. I smiled back. Addison nodded.

"Have either of you seen Callie this morning?" I asked them.

Addison nodded again. "She's locked in our cabin - she wasn't feeling well, and she said she wasn't going to ruin anyone else's vacation with seeing her sick." Her voice was sympathetic.

"Oh," I said, lamely. "All right."

"Join us," Teddy suggested, patting the lounge chair next to hers. "Owen said that we'll reach the next island within a few hours - he said there're these ponds there that are almost fresh water, so they're great for swimming in."

"That sounds nice," I agreed, plopping myself down. There were only showers on the boat - the chance to soak in non-seawater for a while wasn't something I was going to refuse.

So I lounged with them for a few hours, until the next island came into view ahead, a pretty little thing that was as much reef as island, with tree-covered hills mixed with lower, wetter ground, some parts that were almost outright swamp. There were also, as promised, a great many shallow, secluded little pools of water that, while not quite freshwater, were certainly less salty than the ocean.

Most of us made our way ashore as Owen and Cristina finished rigging the boat to stay there the night, though Callie still didn't emerge from below. I was worried, now, but there was nothing I could do if she wasn't going to talk to me.

I hoped she just needed time to think through what had happened - it's not as though plenty of straight girls haven't had brief, curiosity-driven experiences with their lesbian friends. It happens all the time, and it's usually no big deal. Even good friends, in my experience, end up just chalking it up to alcohol, or curiosity, or a "deep feminine bond", and get past it.

After we settled onto the island, Owen fixed breakfast - more fruit and some ham that he cooked over a fire, which was delicious. Callie still didn't appear, but Cristina took some food out to the boat for her.

Once we had eaten, everybody wanted to explore the island - this one was quite a bit bigger than the last one, so there was a lot more to explore, and relatively clear water in which to bathe. Derek and Mark went off in one direction, while Cristina, Teddy and I headed in another, and Owen stayed near the ship in case anything happened there or to tell Callie where we had gone if she emerged. Addison stayed behind as well, deciding to get some sunbathing in on the boat, and to be handy if Callie needed anything - I might have done the same, except I figured rather sadly that it was probably better for Callie if I wasn't there.

Cristina took Teddy and I a little ways into the palms, where she promised us was her favorite little pool. We found it without much trouble. It was a lovely spot, too - a pool surrounded by rocks, with a little waterfall kind of thing on one side that flowed down to another pool via a tiny creek.

The water was just deep enough to soak in, like a giant bathtub, probably no more than waist deep. Teddy and I immediately got down to our bathing suits and waded out, sinking into the lukewarm water with identical sighs. Meanwhile, Cristina surprised us both by stripping down completely and wading almost regally past us into the water.

Neither Teddy nor I seemed that worried about being naked in front of a married woman - but as we exchanged a brief, uncomfortable look, we both realized at the same moment that we were actually nervous about being naked in front of each other. We both laughed at the absurdity of that, and a few moments later, joined Cristina in the pool with our swimsuits laid out neatly on the rocks, luxuriating in the clean water.

We had brought some basic bath products with us, and took turns shampooing each other's hair, getting ourselves cleaner than we'd felt in a while - the boat's onboard showers were mediocre at best.

After bathing, relaxing, and lots of idle girl talk, I decided to do some exploring, while Cristina looked half-conscious at best, floating with a dreamy smile on her face, and Teddy seemed pretty comfortable. I re-dressed and headed off into the semi-jungle, aimlessly wandering around the beautiful little island.

I was half-hoping to find Callie somewhere, maybe waiting with open arms...I laughed that thought off. She might come to terms with what she had done the previous night, I thought, but that certainly didn't mean she had any real feelings for me beyond friendship. I was more than willing to write the whole thing off as a curiosity, vacation-fueled night, and leave it at that. I certainly didn't want to lose my best friend.

Then I thought some more, carefully examining my feelings. Realistically, I should have been a lot more worried about having sex with my straight best friend. It happens a lot, of course, but that doesn't mean it's always a good idea. Unless everybody goes in with the right idea, just like any other sexual scenario, it can end in disaster. But I hadn't thought twice - once I'd known it was her, it was easy for me to make love to her - easy for me to go down on her, easy for me to help her come, to call her "baby". It had been very easy. What did that mean? That question kept spinning again and again through my mind as I wandered without really watching where I was going, my teeth worrying constantly at my lower lip.

I was broken from my reverie a few moments later by the sight of a human figure somewhere ahead, and stopped, peering out over another of the wide pools, this one also surrounded by rocks, but a little higher wall, making it difficult to see into the water beyond.

Mark was sitting on one of the rocks, with his back to me, looking as though he were dipping his feet in the water. I noticed almost immediately that he seemed to be naked, as well - I couldn't see his trunks, but I could see his bare butt on the rocks. His body was lean and muscular, and I could understand why Derek was attracted to him - if I'd been at all into men, I certainly wouldn't have kicked that out of bed.

Then I noticed something - his head was thrown back, his eyes closed, and there was a dreamy smile on his face. I was a little startled at that. Mark didn't really seem like the revel-in-the-sunshine type to me - then I saw a pair of hands slide around his hips to his ass, cupping and lifting. I blinked in surprise, and a fleeting thought crossed my mind that Callie...no, she couldn't, I thought. That didn't seem like her.


	10. Chapter 10

**Letting Go**  
>By RedEmerald (Edited by freakycalzona)<p>

**Disclaimer:** We own nothing and borrow lots. No, really... lots. Like every other character past or present on _Grey's Anatomy_ which are the sole intellectual property of Shonda Rhimes, Shondaland and ABC.

**Ratings:** Overall R.

**Story Information:** This is Alternative Universe fanfiction. None of the characters have the occupations that Shonda Rhimes intended. We simply asked ourselves how career choices can change the directions of the characters lives, but not who they are as a person.

**Summary:** AU Sometimes it doesn't matter whether or not it's a dream

**Editor's Note 1: **All the credit to this fic goes to RedEmerald of LE . com I just asked her permission to edit this one for our otp

**Editor's Note 2:** so guys this will be the last fic of RedEmerald that I'll be editing. Should I continue editing other stories for our otp? Suggestions and comments are much appreciated...

Chapter 10:

As it turned out, it wasn't. Making my way a short distance around the pool, staying out of sight, I was finally able to catch sight of Derek's dark-haired head, bobbing slowly and lingeringly up and down in Mark's lap, his hands still visible stroking the younger man's butt and thighs.

As I stared, torn between blushing embarrassment and curious interest, Mark arched, shuddering visibly, and clutched Derek's hair with one hand. Then he released it, relaxing with a sigh, and Derek stood up between his legs, kissing the younger man deeply.

Now I was definitely blushing. As I was leaving hurriedly - voyeurism isn't really a hobby of mine, despite my natural curiosity - Derek was just lifting Mark's legs onto his shoulders. I gave them their privacy, embarrassed but happy that they had both apparently found something to enjoy on vacation.

Being more careful to avoid any more accidental encounters, I managed to get myself back to the original beach where the boat was parked - or anchored, or whatever. Owen was there, alone, digging a fire pit and setting up his grill for dinner.

"Hey, lovely," he greeted me warmly.

"Owen," I replied.

"Enjoy your swim?" He said, gesturing with his chin at my still-wet hair.

I nodded. "It's lovely here." My tone was a bit non-committal in my distraction.

Owen chuckled a little. "Still confused? Even after...?" He trailed off, respecting my privacy enough not to say it aloud.

"Well, I wasn't right after...now, even more so." I sighed in resignation, shaking my head as I joined him by the pit he was digging.

"Do me a favor and toss some of those rocks aside, would you?"

I started leaning down and picking up some of the bigger rocks in and around the hole in the sand, tossing them out of his way as he kept widening the hole and smoothing the sides expertly with his shovel.

"What changed?" He asked me then.

"I'm not sure," I said slowly, not sure what to say and what not to say. "I don't know...maybe Callie did."

"Ah, that girl..." He smiled an oddly fond smile. "She looks after you a great deal, you know."

"Like a big sister?" I asked wryly, tossing another rock aside with a bit more force than was probably necessary.

He grinned his toothy grin. "No, not really."

I looked at him in surprise, but he didn't look at me - he kept his grin, though.

"That doesn't make me less confused," I said - I'll admit, I was pouting a bit.

"I know - but don't worry, you'll figure it out," he said confidently, winking at me. "You're too close now not to."

I stared at him, shaking my head. "I wish I were half that confident."

He smiled. "Callie said she'd come ashore for dinner, by the way - it won't be for a couple hours, though. Why not take a nap or something - the more relaxed you get, out here, the clearer things become. Take it from me."

I smiled, running my fingers through my damp hair. "Not a bad idea," I said gratefully.

"Thanks for the help with the rocks."

"No problem." I wandered away again, and as I found a little nest to curl up in at the base of a tree, I realized that I really could use a nap - there was something about the warm, salty silence of this place that just lulled you off to sleep. I leaned my head back, yawned, and fell asleep - mercifully, for once, a dreamless sleep.

**Editor's Note 3:** so Mark/Derek.. what do you guys think?


	11. Chapter 11

**Letting Go**  
>By RedEmerald (Edited by freakycalzona)<p>

**Disclaimer:** We own nothing and borrow lots. No, really... lots. Like every other character past or present on _Grey's Anatomy_ which are the sole intellectual property of Shonda Rhimes, Shondaland and ABC.

**Ratings:** Overall R.

**Story Information:** This is Alternative Universe fanfiction. None of the characters have the occupations that Shonda Rhimes intended. We simply asked ourselves how career choices can change the directions of the characters lives, but not who they are as a person.

**Summary:** AU Sometimes it doesn't matter whether or not it's a dream

**Editor's Note 1: **All the credit to this fic goes to RedEmerald of LE . com I just asked her permission to edit this one for our otp

**Editor's Note 2:** so guys this will be the last fic of RedEmerald that I'll be editing. Should I continue editing other stories for our otp? Suggestions and comments are much appreciated...

Chapter 11:

I woke up luxuriously slowly, and judged from the sunlight that it was still well before dinner, but definitely later in the day. Standing up and stretching, I made my way back up the beach toward the boat, but the beach there was empty. Owen's fire-pit was all set up, with wood already prepared for the fire and his grill built, but there was no one in sight.

I had no idea where anyone was at this point - I figured Addison was probably still on the boat, sunbathing and napping, and Derek and Mark might not show up until they were exhausted, but where were Owen and Cristina - and Teddy? I realized too that Callie might have come ashore - which meant that if I ran into her, I needed to know what the hell I was going to say to her.

I ran quickly through what little logic I could apply to the situation. Either Callie loved me, I loved her, both, or neither. Simple enough. If neither of us loved the other, then we would eventually get past it - I thought our friendship was strong enough for that. We'd be awkward for a while, and then find an excuse to laugh it off. The other three, though...did I love her?

I thought about the long years of our friendship. I thought about sharing a dorm room with her, and then an apartment - and listening to her with her boyfriends. I remembered her last boyfriend, and the oddly abrupt break-up. I remembered her suggestion that we go away together, but then her finding a tour service where we wouldn't be alone. I remembered how she had practically pushed me into Teddy, and even suggested trying something with one of the guys, just to break me out of my funk.

I had my eyes closed as I remembered, and as the memories sorted themselves in my brain, I found other memories replacing them. Memories of past occasions where we had laughed or cried together, memories of the many times we had held each other or nursed each other through tough break-ups. I remembered the incredible things she had done to my body - in whichever of my dreams had been real, and even in those that had been dreams. I still didn't know which were which, other than the last one.

I remembered Callie's shock at realizing that I knew who it was on top of me, and her incredible arousal at being in bed with me. I remembered the desperation and the fear in her voice when she came. That was the thing, though - she hadn't just been there to make herself come, or from arousal. If I hadn't spoken, she would have just eaten me out, I thought. Why?

I needed to talk to her. I stood up, blinking in the sunlight glaring off the sand of the beach - I was a little startled that I had been thinking for long enough that my eyes had lost their adjustment to the sun - and picked my way into the trees, toward the few spots on this island I knew.

Down a ways into the trees, I reached the spot where Teddy, Cristina and I had bathed earlier, and heard soft voices ahead of me.

Nodding - at least I had found someone - I stepped to the edge of the trees. Then I froze.

There was no one in the pool of water. There was, however, someone near it - not twenty feet away from me, in fact.

Cristina lay on her back in the soft grass near the pool, still naked. Teddy lay atop her, their skins contrasting beautifully. Cristina's legs were hooked around Teddy's, and her hands had a death grip on Teddy's creamy hips and buttocks, pulling the girl into her. Owen, also naked, looking huge and powerful, was mounted atop them, with his hands on Teddy's breasts and his powerful haunches thrusting slowly, firmly against her, his head moving against the back of her neck and her shoulder blades. Teddy's hands were fluttering and flailing aimlessly in the grass - her body seemed to be supported entirely by Cristina and Owen's grip on her.

The sounds I'd been hearing were obviously coming from them. I could hear Cristina breathing hard, moaning high and soft with each breath. I could hear Owen's slow, relaxed groans of pleasure, which I recognized from the nights on the boat. I could hear Teddy's familiar, over-aroused squeaking and whimpering. She seemed to be in ecstasy, with her eyes closed and her head thrown back, her arms and legs stiff and quivering, and her mouth wide open. I could only imagine how intense the sensations were for her as each of Owen's thrusts inside her thrust her body down into Cristina. Cristina had her head up, her eyes wide and her mouth wide open, panting against the column of Teddy's throat. I could see her lower body quivering in pleasure as well.

I watched them for just a moment, and felt a grin spreading across my face. I wasn't jealous or angry - I was happy for them. In fact, I barely kept from giggling out loud. I knew Cristina and Owen were insatiable, and Teddy...well, as I said, she'd even worn me out - I'd had suspicions about her and Cristina or Owen as well. I was still grinning when I turned away, hearing female moans turn into female cries and Owen's voice rising in encouragement. We'd all found plenty to enjoy on this vacation, apparently.

That made a lot of sense - it explained why everyone had been so matter-of-fact, and so calm.

Except one person hadn't been that calm. I paused, standing alone amongst the trees, with the ocean just audible ahead of me and the wind blowing my now-dry hair around my face. One more thing clicked into place for me - Callie's blush. I nodded. It was all clear, now.

I hurried back to the beach - suddenly, I was all urgency, as I couldn't let my tiny little epiphany slip away from me. To my surprise, Addison was there, sunbathing near the set up grill and fire pit.

"Addison?" I asked.

She raised her head, opening her eyes to smile at me. "Oh, hey, Arizona. Did you see Callie?"

"No," I said, surprised again. "Did she come ashore?"

"Yeah, she said that even sick, she couldn't pass up a real bath." She grinned, leaning her head back down.

Great - I only had to search the whole island for her. "Okay, thanks, Addison."

I rushed back into the trees, surprised at the need I felt to find Callie - it's not, after all, as though she were going anywhere. We were going to be stuck on a small boat together for at least two more weeks - but I had to see her, and now. I even stumbled on tree roots and things as I made a wide circle around the pool where Teddy, Owen, and Cristina were so enjoying each other. I didn't go near the pool where I'd seen Derek and Mark earlier - I was fairly sure Callie wouldn't seek out their company.

It didn't take me all that long to find her. It wasn't that large an island - there were maybe ten of these little bathing pools scattered around amidst the trees and rocks. I did the logical thing - I checked the one furthest from the boat.

This pool was a long, narrow sort of thing, surrounded by high rocks. The trees around it were pretty thick, and I had to push my way through, so I didn't surprise her.

She was sitting on one of the higher rocks, with her feet dangling just barely into the water below, with her back to me. She wore her bikini with a filmy sort of cover-up shirt that buttoned up the front.

I pushed free of the trees and climbed up not too far away from her, but not too close.

"Hey, Ari."

"Hi, Cal." I noticed her hair was wet. "Nice bath?"

She glanced at me, smiling a little. "Not bad."

We looked away from each other. For once, I wasn't confused. In fact, I had realized that, of the two of us, I'd been the less confused one for quite some time now.

"So..." I said slowly. "How much was really a dream, and how much was real?"

Callie looked at me, with a strange little smile. "For which one of us?"

I laughed, and shifted a bit closer to her, about three feet away. She immediately shifted away, stretching her legs out to submerge them further in the lukewarm water.

"You know," she said then, "it's not like it doesn't happen - we can just pretend, you know..."

"Can we?" I cut her off.

She gave me a weary look. "Ari...it's not love, it's just...one of those things."

I looked at her for a long minute. I'd been thinking about this for hours, and I damn well wasn't sure of that. "All right; kiss me."

Callie rolled her eyes. "Right, that'll fix everything."

I shifted toward her, and she shifted away again. That was starting to get annoying. "I'm serious," I told her. "Kiss me, and prove it. If you can do that, then we'll just call it curiosity, and pretend it never happened."

It was too good a deal to pass up - we needed a way out of this, and we both knew it. Still, she looked at me uncertainly. "I'm not sure that's a good idea, Arizona."

"Sounds like you're scared, to me." My voice was just slightly mocking.

She glared at me a little bit. Good. If we could do this angry, it would be easier for both of us, and then we could move past it. "It's not a matter of scared, Ari - I..."

"I know, Cal, I know," I said, reaching out to touch her hand. I left my hand there, and she didn't pull away. I closed my fingers over hers, and raised my eyebrows. "You really think that our friendship is going to be ruined by a kiss? Do you need a recap of last night?"

She blushed. "No, it's just...last night...didn't..."

"Didn't happen. Agreed," I said with a patient shrug, "with just one kiss."

She sighed almost irritably. "Arizona, you can't just..."

I shifted closer to her, and she pulled away yet again. Now I glared at her.

"You can't just -" She started to continue, but I cut her off.

"Damn it, Callie," I said angrily, "we're talking about one fucking kiss. You can't manage that, for the sake of our friendship?"

"It's not about our friendship," she retorted angrily, turning toward me and glaring hotly.

"What's it about, then?" I snapped, leaning toward her. "If you're so pig-headed that you won't -"

"Pigheaded?" She snarled.

"Yes! If you can't even manage one silly kiss, after everything you put me through..."

"I put you through?" She gasped in disbelief. "Have you any idea how long I've been..."

"Oh, please," I said scornfully, "don't even try that - I was the one who had to listen to you begging your 'darling'..."

"I was talking to you, you stupid..." She growled, cutting herself off, and leaned in to kiss me. The kiss was hard and blunt, like the kiss you'd get after daring someone who didn't even like you.

Too bad for Callie that I knew her better than she knew herself. Just as the kiss broke and she started to pull away, I cupped the back of her neck and sighed against her lips as though the kiss had taken my breath away.

She froze, shivering slightly. I put the slightest pressure on, and brought our lips back together.

"Arizona, you said one..." She mumbled against my mouth.

"Just kiss me, Callie," I said. This time I was the one who shivered. Her lips were very soft, even holding back as much as she was, but...there was something there. I needed a real kiss - I had to know.

We kissed again, and this time it was a real kiss. Brief and soft, but a real kiss.

I pulled back, and felt a strange helplessness. We stared at each other from about four inches apart.

"There," I said lamely. "That's...that's fine. Now we can -"

"Shut up, Arizona," she said angrily, and pulled our lips back together. The kiss was like the first - hard and firm, with our mouths wide open but just locked together. I was frozen, my mind blank.

Then that hard kiss turned soft. No, not just soft. It turned dream-like. Our lips were barely touching, and I'm fairly sure neither of us was breathing. Our lips moved, as soft and smooth as satin, against each other...and I felt her breathe me in, something I've felt only a few times in my life.

"Arizona," she pulled back and whispered then, warningly. "Stop..."

I didn't bother pointing out that she had kissed me. I just slid my arms around her neck, let go, and grabbed hold of what I wanted. She whimpered into this kiss, and I let my weight press against her - she may have had four inches on me, but she was feeling a bit weak at the moment. I pressed her onto her back on the rocks, and we rolled off onto the grass, with me on top.

She squirmed under me. "Arizona, wait," she tried to speak, breaking the kiss.

"For what?" I murmured, taking the opportunity to open a button and find her waist with my hands, reveling in how smooth her skin felt. It wasn't as slippery with sweat, or as heated as it had been last night, but it felt more real. It was Callie under me, and that's what I wanted right now. My lips stroked her neck and my tongue tasted the hollow of her throat.

Callie gasped. "Arizona, stop. This isn't a good idea..."

"Mmhmm, true." I nibbled on her neck, my hands undoing buttons. I felt her stomach against the backs of her fingers, then cloth, and I growled - that wasn't what I wanted to touch. I slid my hands over her shoulders and up to the back of her neck, where her bikini top tied.

"Arizona, no," she whimpered as my lips opened to suck deeply on her neck just below her ear.

I pulled the strings free and ripped the cloth aside impatiently. "Were you talking to me?" I asked into her ear, my breath light and fast now as I undid more buttons. There was bare flesh under the backs of my hands now - bare flesh that quivered and trembled with some very uneven breathing.

"Wha...ah...when?" She asked breathlessly.

"'Darling...please don't stop.'" I whispered in her ear, and opened her cover shirt, filling my hands with her breasts. They were warm and firm, silky smooth - and trembling.

"Oh, god..." She shuddered, whimpering. "What...when did I..."

"When you were making love...I heard you...every time," I breathed into her ear, needing to hear it. "Who were you talking to?" My palms grazed light circles over her already taut nipples - nipples I couldn't wait to taste. I licked her ear. "Who, Callie?"

"Oh, god, Arizona," she gasped in surprise, arching against that delicate touch. She was squirming desperately, her hands clutching the grass as if trying to escape - but her hips were moving against me.

"Who?" I asked in a very soft voice, suddenly feeling very vulnerable, my hands tantalizing her breasts - it was so hard to think with them in my hands. She felt so good, so real. I nuzzled my way down the center of her chest, feeling her breasts and my own hands against my cheeks, and slid my lips over one silky breast, nibbling at it. "Please...Callie...tell me."

She gasped with each touch of my mouth, writhing on the grass. Finally, when my hands under her back lifted her to my lips and I captured her nipple, she cried out. "Oh, god, Arizona!"

I sucked her nipple, lashing it with my tongue, and then switched to the other breast, feeling her twist closer. "Oh, my god, darling," she moaned out.

I shuddered hearing that, hearing the confirmation. "Callie..." I murmured, sliding up and nuzzling her throat, before lifting my head to look down into her eyes. My hands were smoothing over her hips - and untying the strings that held her bikini bottom on.

She looked up at me with wide, vulnerable eyes, her body moving slightly and her breathing still very unsteady as she felt me stripping off the last thing between us.

"This is what you wanted," I whispered, my fingertips tracing her inner thigh.

She shuddered, closing her eyes.

"This..." My fingers slid along her mound, and gently parted her slit, caressing.

She gasped, her eyes popping back open, and she swallowed hard.

"This..." My fingers stroked her slit, and I couldn't help but moan at feeling how wet she already was for me.

"Oh..." She moaned back softly, closing her eyes again. "Yes."

"You wanted me, not him," I whispered against her lips.

"Yes..."

I stroked my hand up and down her slit, and on the next stroke, let my middle finger glide into her pussy. My own pussy throbbed when I felt how slick and warm her soft flesh was inside, gripping my finger with a sudden tension.

"Arizona!" She squealed against my mouth.

I couldn't wait any longer. I slid down eagerly, my hands sliding back to her breasts, holding her down, my shoulders pushing her legs open wider, and then I ran my mouth over her mound, my tongue tracing her slit. Her taste and scent filled my senses, and I moaned her name, even as she moaned mine, and was lost.

I ate Callie without finesse or patience, but with my eyes wide open, watching her nearly naked body writhing on the grass, her breasts arching up under my hands and her head thrown back, her fingers clawing at my arms. Whenever my tongue found a sensitive spot - which it found many of - it lingered and fluttered, driving little gasping squeals from her, until I finally just pulled her clit into my mouth and lashed it unmercifully with my tongue, driving her up onto her shoulders and to orgasm with a scream that echoed.

The spasms in her body nearly rocked my mouth off of her pussy, and I grabbed her hips to hold tight, not willing to relinquish any of the delicious nectar that I was finding.

When she relaxed, I backed off, nibbling at her outer lips, just lightly teasing her, keeping her sensitized.

She ran a hand through her hair, shuddering with a soft groan. "God, Arizona," Callie sighed, "that was amazing."

"Mm...yes..." I whispered against her. She reached down, raising her head to smile shyly down at me, stroking my hair back. Our eyes met, and I slowly ran my tongue from the bottom of her slit to the top. She gasped in a very quick breath. I took her hands in mine and gently pressed them down into the grass, holding them as I began a slow, luxurious stroking with my tongue, my lips rubbing and soft against her pussy. I held her eyes with mine, watching them widen as her breathing deepened again.

I recognized the look in her eyes - I'd seen it many times. There's nothing quite like watching a girl watch you eat her, especially during your first night together. You see every reaction and twitch in her face, and she can't look away, because the long-anticipated image of you eating her is just too erotic for her to stop.

Every breath from her was slow and halting, with catches and shudders, as she watched me. Her breasts trembled and quivered, and this time, as I went down on my best friend with all the skill - and love - that I could summon, I watched as the pleasure in her face intensified, mingled with shock, with amazement at how intense the sensations were. Her legs quivered, and then relaxed, along with her stomach, as her hands went limp. Her face relaxed, the tension draining out of her, and I watched with relish as she floated, her eyes locked on mine as I feasted on her and her body totally surrendered, drifting on the ecstasy of finally having what she had obviously wanted for so long.

I have no idea how long I made love to her pussy - my whole world was her glorious eyes, the sound of her breathing, slow and deep and unsteady, the feel of her soft mound and satiny slick lips under my mouth, the taste of her pulsing around my tongue. I felt drunk on her, intoxicated by her smell and her taste, and finally I could wait no longer to bring her still higher and gradually focused on her clit, intensifying the sensation with the tiny fluttering movements of my tongue and the massage of my lips that I knew would send her into orbit.

Her eyes went wide as her breathing stopped, and her body tensed, her eyes staring helplessly at me - she was now far too relaxed to hold back, and she soared straight over the cliff. I saw that tiny hint of shock in her face that I recognized as an unexpected and unstoppable orgasm, and then she was gone - her head snapped back, her body locked up.

"Arrriiiizzzzzoooooonnnnaaaa..." Callie wailed, her whole body taut and her hands clenched into fists.

I kept up the long, light, continuous sucking on her clit, backing off slightly as I felt her start to relax - and then lashed it again with my tongue, swirling around it and then locking my lips around it, sucking in waves.

"Oh - oh g - ahhAHHH!" She screamed again, her legs bending and her feet kicking in helpless spasm along my hips.

I blazed her through her second orgasm and into an immediate third before I felt that tremor in her stomach muscles that signaled an increasing risk of cramping, and backed off, bringing her down with slow, very gentle licks, no longer pleasuring but just soothing, my hands releasing hers to massage her stomach and thighs, easing strained muscles.

She went limp, her knees splayed and her head back flat on the ground, panting and staring up at the blue sky overhead.

I reluctantly slid my mouth off of her, nibbling at her quivering stomach, and slid up her body, wiping my mouth on my arm as my hands soothingly caressed her now sweaty body.

Callie finally looked up at me, her eyes dazed.

"Arizona," she whispered, looking into my eyes. "God, I love you so much."

My eyes went as big as they could go and filled with tears. We kissed, slowly, warmly.

I smoothed her hair back, and her hands slid up my back, pulling me down against her. For the first time, amazingly, as I felt her nakedness under me, my own arousal asserted itself. Just the contact with her body nearly brought me to orgasm, and I know Callie felt it, because her look of relaxed, happy wonder faded into one of slightly smug pleasure.

The next thing I knew I was on my back, my own clothes being slid off of me, and Callie's mouth was everywhere. I arched at her lips on my neck, whimpered when she licked my breasts, giggled when she tongued my navel, and then I was dreaming again, feeling that wonderful tongue inside me, her lips stroking me.

I wanted to string this out, delay my own ecstasy as long as I could - but my body would not be denied. With the image of Callie - my best friend and lover, staring up at me from between my trembling thighs, her hands on my stomach and breast - filling my eyes, I came, hard and rapid-fire, once, twice, and a third time, crying out her name again and again, losing myself in finally, finally knowing. The third time I came, in between screams of her name, I told her I loved her as well, without even having to think.

At length, we relaxed, curled up together in the sun, with her head pillowed on my stomach and my hand kneading her hair and scalp, drifting on the dreamy afterglow.

"Oh, crap," I sighed.

She jerked her head up, looking up at me with alarm. "What?"

I winced. "Do you have any idea how badly sunburned I'm going to be?"

She burst out laughing, sliding up to kiss me, staring down at me with this lovely sort of confused wonder in her face.

I just smiled, my future pain forgotten, and kissed her.

"So...what exactly happened the other day," I asked, "that made you blush when I mentioned Cristina and Owen?"

She looked indignant, though that same faint blush returned. "What about you and Teddy?"

This time, I blushed, but then, as I looked into her eyes, I just brushed her hair back and kissed her, and she melted against me.

Some time later, we wandered back, hand in hand. I felt unaccountably shy about that, but Callie wouldn't let go of me for some reason.

We reached the beach, where some delicious smells were emanating from a roaring fire and the grill. Everyone looked up as we arrived.

"Hey, lovely, beautiful," Owen said, and Cristina smiled from behind him. Teddy looked up from playing cards with Derek and Mark. She waved, and the boys nodded. Addison asked how Callie was feeling.

"Oh, better," she said casually.

No one so much as winked, much less commented on the fact that we were holding hands, and our clothes and hair probably looked like we'd come by to report the hurricane making landfall on the other side of the island.

Callie and I exchanged a rueful look - I absolutely hate being the last one to know something.

* * *

><p>I yawned as I closed my mailbox, wandering half-awake to the elevators and ascending to my floor, almost stumbling as I stuffed the mail in my bag and fumbled my keys out of my pocket, unlocking my apartment and heading inside.<p>

Immediately, the smells of some heavenly cooking hit me, and I perked up, my stomach rumbling. There was no one else in the kitchen, and the living room looked empty.

Licking my lips, I stepped up to the stove and used a handy spoon to taste what was cooking, smiling in pleasure.

Arms slid around my waist from behind. "Hey there."

I leaned back. "Hey. What's the occasion?" I turned around, meeting my girlfriend's sparkling eyes, and she held out an envelope.

Raising my eyebrows, I opened it.

"A birth announcement?" I asked incredulously. "What the...oh." I rolled my eyes. "She sent me an announcement?" I asked, feeling a bit nauseous.

She grinned. "Just thought you should see it."

"Mmhmm..." I nodded, playing it up a little. "Hey, says there's a visitation..."

She snatched the slip of paper from my hand and crumpled it up, tossing it at the trash.

I grinned. "Jealousy, Cal? You?"

She snorted. "Aren't we full of ourselves?" Then she leaned in to kiss me. When she pulled back, she raised her eyebrows expectantly. "Ahem."

I looked at her in confusion, and then belatedly noticed what she was wearing. I blinked, and grinned a little. "Oh, I see...big plans for after dinner?"

She tossed her hair with aplomb. "Of course not; what kind of girl do you think I am?"

"I'm sure someone's working on that," I said absently, my eyes tracing her. Then I frowned. "You know, I'm not sure an apron that only covers that much of you is really very practical, especially if you're going to dress like that underneath."

Callie just pushed me up against the counter, kissing me hungrily, and my last coherent thought for quite some time was a fervent hope that the food wouldn't get too badly burned.

Fin..

**Editor's Note 3:** so guys that's the end..what do you guys think?.. Thanks again for all the pm's, alerts and comments.. so I've decided to edit some more stories for our otp.. suggestions are much appreciated…


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